What the hell do you know about
Bio-chemically no different than
eating large quantities of chocolate. (sharply now)
Don’t be such a fucking chump. There’s only one real sickness in all of creation and that is self- delusion. I told you to take care of your wife — that the world would understand. And you made a choice. ‘You know what scares me, John? I leave the case, she gets better and I hate her for it…’ Remember?
You set me up. It’s entrapment.
Who told you to pull out the stops
for Mr. Gettys? And Moyez — the direction you took — Snake handlers, Popes and swamis all feeding at the same trough — whose ideas were those? And then
Cullen — knowing he’s guilty — seeing those pictures — putting that lying bitch on the stand… What did I say, Kevin? Maybe it was time to lose, right? You didn’t think so.
That’s my job. That’s what I do!
Vanity is definitely my favorite sin. Self love. It’s so basic. What a drug. Cheap, all-natural, and right at your fingertips. Pride. That’s where you’re strongest. And believe me, I understand. Work for someone else? — Hey, I couldn’t hack it. ‘Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.’
What do you want from me?
What do I want? I want you to be
I’ve had many children, Kevin. So
many disappointments. Neurotic, indecisive wannabes. Over-eager, ham-handed butchers. Strung-out, priapic losers. And then there’s you. Your mother, I’ll tell you, she outstripped my wildest fantasy. That church she dragged you to? Every day? What training. What
a challenge! It’s awesome what you’ve done. How far you’ve come. Both of you… You and your sister.
What do you scene, huh?
to be exact. CHRISTABELLA
think, Kevin? What a
CHRISTABELLA (passing Kevin)
Don’t let him scare you.
Wait till you meet her mother.
It is a test, isn’t it? The whole
game, you sitting there, keeping score.
No. That’s the other guy. I
don’t judge anybody. As far as I’m concerned, everyone’s a winner.
DEVIL’S ADVOCATE – Rev. 1/18/97 254 CONTINUED:
MILTON (CONT’D) God’s your prankster, my boy.
Think of it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift and then, I swear to you — for his own amusement — his own private, cosmic gag reel — he sets the rules in opposition. It’s the goof of all time. Look but don’t touch. Touch but don’t taste. Taste but don’t swallow. And while you’re jumping from one foot to the other he’s laughing his sick fucking ass off! He’s a tight-ass. He’s a sadist. He’s an absentee landlord!
(incredulous) Worship that? Never.
255 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
￼(EFX) The Bas Relief getting stranger and more seductive by the moment — bodies spinning and spawning —
256 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
I’m here, on the ground, my nose
in it since the whole damn thing began. Why? Because I worship man himself. And it’s my time now. Our time.
CHRISTABELLA Anybody want a drink? I’m having
This is some pitch. You must need
me pretty bad. What do you want?
Eddie was right. Your name is on
the partnership charter. I want you to take over the firm. You and your sister.
￼￼Is that it?
DEVIL’S ADVOCATE – Rev. 1/18/97 256 CONTINUED:
(letting his hand brush her cheek)
She’s ovulating. Right now. KEVIN
Your vanity is justified, Kevin,
you’re the seed to a new future. Your son will sit at the head of all tables. You hold a special place in the history of all things.
KEVIN You want a child.
MILTON I want a family.
KEVIN The Antichrist.
But I have to volunteer.
Christabella begins to strip.
MILTON Free will. It’s a bitch.
I need a family. I command an ever larger presence on the board. I’m busy and I need some help. There’s a plan here. I’ve been conserving my energy. Synergy. Prioritize. It’s the millennium, Kevin. Title fight. Round twenty. I’m ready to work.
So what are you offering?
MILTON Are we negotiating?
DEVIL’S ADVOCATE – Rev. 1/18/97 256 CONTINUED: (2)
257 OMITTED thru
257 thru 259
KEVIN What are you offering?
Everything. Anything. All of it!
(he’s got him)
What am I offering? I’m offering bliss. Instant bliss. Bliss by remote control. Bliss on tap. That first line of cocaine. That walk into a strange girl’s bedroom. The jury coming back in thirty- eight minutes. Freedom. Revolution! Viva la causa!
￼260 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
(EFX) The Bas Relief transforming into real clouds and bodies and the frame of it disappearing and —
261 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
You’re right, aren’t you? About
me. I mean, I made all the choices, didn’t I? Gettys. Cullen. Mary Ann. I did kill her, didn’t I?
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Christabella passing Kevin, handing him her bra.
It’s done. Forget it. It’s all
for us now.
God, she’s just fucking stunning,
Christabella lingering and Kevin leaning in… kissing her… just a moment before she pulls away —
DEVIL’S ADVOCATE – Rev. 1/18/97 261 CONTINUED:
You’re right. I wanted to fuck
her from the minute we met.
Like that’s wrong. Like there’s
anything wrong with that. That there could be laws preventing something so natural. That’s our ticket in.
Did you know there were more
students in law school right now than lawyers walking the Earth?
262 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
￼(EFX) The Bas Relief has become an orgy, bodies coming to life in a swirling, narcotic haze and —
263 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT 263
We’re coming out, guns blazing.
The two of you — all of us — acquittal after acquittal until
the stench of it reaches so high into heaven it chokes the whole fucking lot of them! What we
cannot legislate we will buy. What we cannot buy we will degrade. We will blow every fuse of enlightenment until it looks like a vandalized, neon sign! And while God is busy
at his peephole — as he deigns us with his disapproval — as he
lumbers around his empty kingdom
like some overfed colonial governor — as God sleeps late, we will win. We’ve got a winner here, kids!
In the Bible you lose. You’re
destined to lose.
MILTON Consider the source.
Christabella — her hands — moving over her body —
CHRISTABELLA Stop talking. Both of you.
(reaching out) Kevin, please…
DEVIL’S ADVOCATE – Rev. 1/18/97
264 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
(EFX) The bodies craning to watch as they roll by.
265 INT. MILTON’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
CHRISTABELLA (urgently now)
Kevin, really, please…
She’s right, my son. It’s time to
step up and take what’s yours.
KEVIN You’re right. It’s time.
Kevin raises the GUN to his temple — quick and simple — SNAP! — he’s blown his brains out —
Milton stunned — disbelieving for a moment and then an aura of fire and heat explodes around him —